Friday, September 29, 2006

Bush on Torture: The Early Years

Since President George W. Bush, our Esteemed and Most Righteous Leader®, now gets to decide what constitutes "cruel and inhumane" treatment of prisoners, I decided to look back at his own history to see what clues we may gather as to his judgment in these matters.

What I found was surprising, yet not shocking.  Diaries kept by the President's nanny, along with accompanying notes from his mother, Barbara Bush, lay out clear lines on what is acceptable and unacceptable treatment of other living creatures, according to our All-Wise and All-Knowing Most Righteous Leader®.

[NOTE: Below are summaries of diary notes kept by George W. Bush's nanny, Paulina Gonzalez, along with accompanying hand-written notes of his mother, Barbara Bush.  No relevant facts or quotes have been altered in any way from the original text.]

  • July 13, 1950 - Four-year-old George W. Bush nabs a house fly that is sitting on the edge of his cup of chocolate milk and proceeds to pull the fly's wings off.  George's mother, Barbara, chuckles and says, "What a chip off the old block! I used to burn ants with a magnifying glass!"

  • July 14, 1950 - Four-year-old George W. Bush squats in his Midland, Texas yard, burning ants with a magnifying glass.  His mother says, "Can you hear them sizzle, Georgie?"

  • September 11, 1952 - Six-year-old George W. Bush set up his Alamo Real Action Battle Set®, and, after losing the Alamo to the Mexican army, declares that it is time to invade Canada.  George W.'s father, George H.W. Bush, says, "I think that's a bad idea, son.  Focus on the task at hand."  George W. calls his father "a weenie" and prepares his soldiers to invade Canada.

  • February 15, 1953 - George W. Bush's new brother, Jeb, comes home from the hospital with his parents.  As soon as his parents retreat to the library for their evening cocktail, George jams his index finger into his infant brother's eye.  Jeb's screaming brings Barbara Bush into the nursery as George stands innocently by.  Barbara flips Jeb over on his stomach and slaps him hard on buttocks three times, shouting, "No crying during cocktail hour, goddamn it!" George W. smiles.

  • May 13, 1956 - Nine-year-old George W. Bush lures a squirrel close by offering handfuls of peanuts.  When the squirrel nears, George snatches the squirrel by the tail and begins spinning it around rapidly, in close proximity to the trunk of a large walnut tree.  Just then, Barbara Bush runs out to the yard, shouting, "George!  Don't bash that squirrel's head on the tree!  Not when you're wearing one of your good, white shirts!"  George is forced to release the dazed squirrel and retreat to his bedroom where he changes into a navy blue pocket-t-shirt before resuming his squirrel-whipping.

  • November 12, 1958 - The Bush family dog, Chester, squirms uncomfortably in the backyard as George W. Bush yells at his brother Jeb to "hold the goddamn dog down, Jebbie!" as 12-year-old George pushes a broomstick into the dog's rectum. Barbara Bush comes outside to investigate the howling and says with a chuckle, "Your grandfather use to do things like that to the kitchen help!"

I'm digging up more, but I thought this was enough for a first post.  I'll continue researching the subject so that we can all get a better handle on what our Magnanimous and Most Excellent and Most Righteous Leader® thinks is appropriate treatment of prisoners under the law passed by the Senate today.

Stay tuned...


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