Tuesday, November 29, 2005

A letter I actually sent to Dick Cheney

I'm sure many of you will recall the day that Dr. Ben Marble, a Hurricane Katrina survivor from Gulfport, Mississippi, had an interesting encounter with Vice President Dick Cheney live on CNN (courtesy of Crooks and Liars). Dr. Marble had lost his home and everything he owned in the hurricane, and was a bit miffed at the incompetent and feeble response from FEMA and the Bush administration.

So when the doctor came across Cheney holding court with the press on his street one afternoon, Dr. Marble turned Cheney's insult to Senator Patrick Leahy back on the Vice President, telling Mr. Cheney to "Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself, asshole."

Frankly, I was shocked that a fellow American citizen would make such a statement to a sitting Vice President. So I immediately dashed off this note of support to our esteemed VP, Dick Cheney:

Dear Vice President Cheney,

I saw the story on CNN where a man yelled "Go fuck yourself!" at you twice while you were discussing hurricane cleanup.

I am shocked and appalled that any true American would tell a sitting Vice President to "Go fuck yourself."

That shocks me. Why would any self-respecting American tell you to "Go fuck yourself?" You, a sitting Vice President?

Frankly, I'm disgusted that anyone would tell you to "Go fuck yourself." Who would use language like that?

I hope my kids don't see that clip played endlessly on the news. I don't want them thinking that they can walk around telling a sitting Vice President, "Go fuck yourself!"

That's not how I want to raise my children.

"Go fuck yourself," indeed!

I'm glad you don't use language like that, Mr. Vice President.

Is telling you, our sitting Vice President, to "Go fuck yourself," an illegal action of any kind? Perhaps you could press charges on the man who told you to "Go fuck yourself."

If I were you, I'd consider it. There is just no place in our society for a person who would tell our Vice President (second only to the President of the United States!) to "Go fuck yourself."

Thank you for your time and your professionalism, Mr. Vice President. I am glad you didn't respond with a "Go fuck yourself" of your own.

I still can't get over the fact that one of my fellow Americans told you to "Go fuck yourself" on live television.

I'm in a state of shock.

Not telling you to "Go fuck yourself," your friend,

-- Bob Johnson

Miraculously, I have not ended up in Guantanamo and been designated an "enemy combatant"... yet.

Wish me continued good luck.


At 12/04/2005 12:17 AM, Blogger joejoejoe said...

Bwahahah. You should send a request for a photo of Spots or Checkers or whatever the hell the WH dog is just to see if you are put on some kind of secret list.

At 12/05/2005 1:10 PM, Blogger Uranus Hz said...

just because you are paranoid doesn't mean that they AREN'T out to get you. You are on a list. Be certain of that.

At 12/05/2005 2:32 PM, Blogger Bob Johnson said...

But I love Dick Cheney. Love, love, love him.

(Please take note.)

At 12/23/2005 2:01 AM, Blogger The Disenfranchised Voter said...

Hahaha, awesome letter.


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