Monday, December 12, 2005

Dads can't babysit... but they can breastfeed!

Nope, dads cannot babysit.  At least that's what my wife has told me (many times).  That's because you don't "babysit" your own kids.  You stay home with them while your wife is out gallivanting about with her friends.

Okay, fine. So I can't babysit.  But according to this, Milkmen: Fathers Who Breastfeed, as a dad, I can contribute in a much more substantial way to childrearing!

From the link:

While my (now ex) husband David had no interest in nursing our son, we both were intrigued with the idea. We had just had our first unassisted homebirth and were excited about applying our positive thinking techniques to other aspects of our lives. Although Raphael had written about milk production through nipple stimulation, perhaps, we thought, David could do it simply through suggestion. He began telling himself that he would lactate, and within a week, one of his breasts swelled up and milk began dripping out. When we excitedly showed my father (a physician) David's breast he said, "Obviously there's something physiologically wrong with David." The fact that David had willed himself to do this, did not impress him. We knew, however, that this was yet another example of the power of the mind.

I wonder what drove them apart?  Was it David's unasked borrowing of Laura's nursing bras?  Was it that he ended up looking hotter in that slinky little black number than she did?  Was it because he insisted on showing his lactating breasts to anyone and everyone they met, even at the mall?

The author goes on to cite Dustin Hoffman:

Additional information:

(Updated Jan., 2005)

In the news, 12/23/04: "Meet the Fockers star Dustin Hoffman is celebrating after becoming a first-time grandfather earlier this month - but the good news has led to him developing breastfeeding urges. His daughter Jenna and her husband Seamus welcomed their son Augustus into the world just three weeks ago, and doting granddad Hoffman admits the experience has given him strange desires. He says, 'I have felt almost the tendency to lactate. We don't realize, but when we're formed in the womb, we have milk glands, before we're differentiated between male or female and before God knows whether to make you male of female. When you think about it, why should men have nipples? And yet we do. I didn't think about it until I started to drip!'"

What the hell.  If an old fogey like Dustin Hoffman can lactate, so can I!

So any new dads ready to take over the 2 a.m. feeding?
And, yes, I am currently breastfeeding my three-month-old twins!

NOTE: Okay, so I made up the part about brestfeeding my three-month-old twins. My kids are grown. One is in high school and one is in seventh grade. In fact, if they ever found out I posted anything as weird as this, they'd disown me. So please, keep this diary to yourself.


[Originally posted on Daily Kos on Januray 10, 2005.]


At 12/13/2005 2:20 PM, Blogger Does not play well with others said...

May I post a link to your blog on my blog?

At 12/13/2005 8:02 PM, Blogger Bob Johnson said...

Knock yourself out.

At 12/14/2005 7:32 PM, Blogger Corrina said...

You're delightful! And, no, you can't babysit your own kids. My husband has heard the very same speech.

At 12/18/2005 11:52 AM, Blogger Bob Johnson said...

Thanks, corrina.

Luckily, my kids are old enought that we don't need babysitters anymore.

So we can stay out all night.

Only, we're so old, we need to be in bed by 11:00.

At 12/23/2005 10:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Men lactating. Bob, you are hilarious. Thanks for the laughs.



Post a Comment

<< Home